Dessert
by Natmonkey
Summary: Shepard fulfils one of Joker's ardent desires.


**Dessert**

"Mmm… Good God, Shepard." Joker closes his eyes and moans. "This is fucking amazing." His head is thrown back in ecstasy. The pilot can hardly believe she has done this for him.

"Yeah, you like it?" Shepard takes a sip of her soda as she leans over the counter, a pleased grin on her face. "It's real meat too, none of that vat-grown shit." She has only eaten a single hamburger, whereas Joker is already on his third. He was drooling while she grilled the meat to perfection, his stomach growling with unadulterated greed. How did she know that he was aching for one of these? Or three. Maybe four. All right, five, and then he will definitely be done.

With his mouth full, he nods enthusiastically. "With horseradish!" She even got _that _right. A slight blush sets in when he accidentally sprays around some chewed up bits. "Oops." Manners? What are those?

"You filthy animal!" The woman laughs and pinches his cheek. "But that's why I like you." Her sexy smile causes a hunger of an entirely different kind. How convenient that Gardner has taken the Cerberus guys and gals out for a well-deserved drink in Eternity. Shepard crooks a beckoning finger at her devoted pilot. "How about some dessert?" she purrs, lust in her eyes.

Her timing is perfect, because Joker has just finished his last bite. "Always room for dessert." He is behind her in a flash, hands on her waist. Teasingly he runs his tongue along the shell of her ear and makes her groan. Shepard wiggles her firm ass against his erection. "You look really hot in this," he breathes in her ear, peeling her skintight leggings down her hips. The uniform shows off her figure to its full advantage, looking all the sexier because it reveals no skin.

"You're only saying that because I cooked you some red meat," she giggles. But then he abruptly plunges into her tight, wet sheath and Shepard is done giggling. Her back arches under his slow, deliberate thrusts, a loud moan rings through the kitchen. Joker clamps his hand over her mouth, because Garrus is probably in the middle of some calibrations in the Main Battery. The Commander moans against his hand and instantly becomes wetter.

She isn't the only one who is turned on by the possibility of getting caught; Joker can feel himself swelling inside of her. He picks up his pace and deepens his strokes. Shepard's strong intimate muscles grip him like a vise, undulating in massaging motions. She moans even louder as he grips her breast with his free hand. The nipple grows rock-hard against his palm. But, no matter how much fun her soft boobies are, the pilot needs his hands elsewhere for balance. He takes his woman's hips in a firm hold, so he can give it to her just the way she likes it. After those hamburgers, the lady deserves a treat of her own. Hard and fast he fucks her; Joker is thoroughly enjoying her barely suppressed whimpers. Even with his superior willpower, though, he can't keep it up forever. Ultimately he finishes with a final powerful thrust, growling in Shepard's ear and digging his fingers into her hips. When his climax has died down, Joker hugs the Commander. "Best damn dessert I've ever had," he says affectionately and kisses her just below her left ear.

"Fuck, yeah." Shepard chuckles and leans back against him. "Want some actual dessert, though? Because I made some."

"Depends on what it is." He still has his heart set on another hamburger.

She lifts a lid off a small pan on the stove. A sweet, creamy smell wafts up. "Rice pudding! And it's still warm."

"Ugh." Joker hates that stuff; he could only hate it more of it included coconut. He makes a face behind Shepard's back. "Pass."

"Oh, well." Laughing, she dunks a spoon straight into the pan and takes a bite. With her mouth full of pudding, she shrugs and says: "Can't please 'em all."

* * *

_Yes, it's another one-shot in my Shepard & Joker series. Based on that bit where Joker talks about wanting a hamburger when you're dawdling in the cockpit. Hee, hee, cockpit. If it sounds incredibly random, I'd suggest looking for _Indulgence_, _Valuable_, _Sweet & Desperate_, _Urgency_, _Nothing_ and _Wreckage_, in that order.  
_


End file.
